From the Farm: Change the location of the silverware drawer

There’s one thing I do, in our house that drives Steve absolutely mad.

Knowing it drives him crazy is one of the reasons I like to do it.

I believe other women have done it too and it also drives their significant others mad as well.

I like to move things around in the house, especially those things that have been in one spot for extended periods of time.

For instance, to add a bit of fun to your life, change the layout of your bedroom. Then sit back and watch your spouse try to find the bedroom door at 4:30 the following morning.

I speak from experience and it is quite hilarious.

I also like to move the silverware drawer around in the kitchen. I have a gazillion drawers in my kitchen. It takes months for the men in this house to stop going instinctively goig to the old drawer to find a butter knife to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

For fun, put one set of plastic silverware in the former drawer. Better yet, glue that plastic set to the bottom of the drawer.

It doesn’t have to be a big item that gets moved either. Store the fingernail clippers in a different spot. When your house mate is walking in circles trying to locate the clippers, just let him go for a bit, see if he comes up with any new words of disgust and then tell him where they are located.

“They were right here in for former silverware drawer.”

A woman has to be somewhat careful when pulling these types of stunts on their spouses.

It can turn around and get you in return, in a big way.

Like when the male purchases a new piece of large equipment – like a skid loader.

My spouse went out and purchased a skid loader that is not the same make as the one we already own. (On a side note, I cannot believe Steve has two skid loaders to use. “One is for the crappy jobs and the other we can use for feeding,” he has said.)

I finally had the opportunity to drive the new skid loader Saturday afternoon. Joey was taking a nap and Russell was… I don’t know what Russell was doing.

I grabbed the opportunity to push up feed. I had been terribly sick the previous four days and hadn’t ventured outside, except to do chores. Four days of bed rest gives a person a lot of time to think of things she could be doing outside.

Well, I climbed into the skid loader. Well … I tried to climb into the skid loader. Where in the world was the door handle. I had to stand on the bucket until I figured out the door handle is on the left side of the door, instead of the right.

Once I was sitting in the seat of skid loader, I started looking at all the gadgets and knobs.

Radio. Check.

Windshield wiper. Check.

Heater. Check.

Key.

Key?

Key?

There is absolutely no key anywhere. I had to figure out how to turn this engine over with no key.

In a skid loader, are no words describing what buttons are for. I mean, in a car, the information center has words telling you to change the oil. In a new skid loader, it’s in elementary pictures.

I found the green button after a few minutes of confusion and pushed it.

Green means go.

Now to figure out how to drive the skid loader and the bucket.

This took me a bit. I was so happy I was alone with only the cows. They are females too and absolutely refused to laugh at me. Had a bull or men been in the area, there would have been an uproar of snorting and laughter.

Eventually I did manage to get the feed pushed up. It took me way longer than normal, but it’s done. I was a bit frustrated.

So frustrated I went into the house and thought about moving the silverware drawer again.

For questions, or comments, e-mail me at kahoffman@newulmtel.net.

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